Friday, April 1, 2011

Edun Airways to offer FIRST No Clothing Section on Flights


This story is hitting all the newswires today:

Dekan Archipelago, South Pacific 4/1/11- Edun Airways to offer the First No Clothing Section on their Flights

With the cost of fuel skyrocketing, budget airline, Edun Airways located in the exotic South Pacific archipelago in the Dekan Island chain is always looking for innovative ways to save money and pass those savings on to their passengers. Edun was the first airline to install coin operated washrooms, 50 cents for one flush, $1.00 for three. Airline President Ima Tsidun explained at the time, 'Why should the guy with a big bladder have to pay the same amount as a person with a tiny one. Do you know how much it costs to carry water on jets?"

However, it's their latest cost savings program that the whole airline industry is really talking about. It's the introduction of the very first No Clothing Section. President Ima Tsidun explained. "It costs a lot of money to fly luggage. Some women were traveling with 10 dresses and 20 pairs of shoes which is kind of silly since the Dekan Islands are famous for their nude beaches. So we imposed luggage fees and everyone switched to heavy carry ons. Next, we imposed carry on fees, then some passengers started wearing 5-6 layers of clothing to get around that rule. The only fair way to properly charge passengers is to create a No Clothing Section on each flight. The more you wear, the more you pay."

The program is very simple. The first flip flops, sunglasses, and towel go free, after that, you pay as you wear. A 3 piece suit costs an extra $5.00, going topless only $2.50, and wearing just your birthday suit of course is free.

Plus, there are a couple of extra unexpected benefits. The air conditioning at the terminal and on the flights can be turned up a few degrees and security check ins are now a breeze for those opting for the No Clothing Section.

All the other major air carriers in the world are anxiously waiting to see how much money this latest move saves Dekan Airways. Confidentially, many CEO's have stated off the record that this sounds like the latest trend in the airlines ever vigilant fight to keep ticket prices low for tourists.

Tom

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